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Shelley has two children from a previous relationship, so she can seek solace elsewhere. "I was looking down into this space where things had been, thinking, 'Shit, what's happening? I've got to replace it.'" If Shelley's emotional needs are partly influenced by her past, what about his? Then he admits that his father has been married four times.
Clearly, he grew up witnessing a pattern of simply moving on, but he has broken that pattern.
But what does this tell us about attitudes to marriage in modern Britain? Maria says so many men have contacted her that she can't even be polite and answer them all. Sarah has left Illicit Encounters without ever taking the plunge.
If there is a gap in intimacy, whether it's sexual intimacy or other kinds of intimacy, people start other relationships and feel there's restitution through them. Let's take for granted that there are sexual opportunists, predators even, involved in dating sites for married people. "Well, no, part of me will think, 'You bastard.' I'm still the same person."Tom will never leave, she insists.
Sex is often the first thing that goes when satisfaction isn't high and people start to think, 'Well, I'm not attractive. "It was interesting almost as an intellectual exercise, but I think I wanted to see if it filled the gaps." And it didn't? Leave them to one side; they are the least interesting. "He doesn't like it that I've put on weight." I am taken aback; hadn't noticed her weight. "I haven't had sex for three years."Sarah thinks her husband, Tom, is gorgeous.
Illicit Encounters has almost half a million members. They need to enter a username and password to access the messages. She goes out to dinner with one man when he's in town, but the other relationship is very physical. Has she tried telling him that their marriage isn't working? "Every level – though obviously trust is shaky." She doesn't see her affair as revenge. It's an equality thing." Her lover makes her feel better about herself. "You become vulnerable to maltreatment." He laughs. Modern infidelity might seem a little more clinical than the old-fashioned variety, but underneath the veneer are the same old emotional maelstroms there have always been.
If another member contacts them, they receive an e-mail from the site. I'm a pretty intelligent woman."She has two relationships though Illicit Encounters but wants only one sexual relationship at a time. " Any internal tussle with guilt is a battle won long ago in a distant war. Then there was the woman who turned up on a date with her baby. If she weren't so busy, would it make a difference? "I've always found love quite a destructive emotion." Why? He has already said everyone on the site understands the boundaries, but now he admits that he would have left his wife for this woman. Yet somehow, technology creates a faade of control that belies the truth.
Someone else thinks I am, so I'm getting a buzz there.' The actual quality of the sexual relationship might not even be as good but it's restitution of yourself as a sexual being."Outside the station, a car draws up. We drive to a caf where, amidst the hiss of coffee machines, Matt's life story emerges slowly, in layers. He even seems emotionally honest, though the irony of that observation is not lost on either of us. The increasingly mainstream membership suggests something else is at work. She was size 12-14 when she met him, but now she's size 16-18 – although at one point, when she was really unhappy, she got a bit bigger. "To me he's George Clooney, he's Russell Crowe, he's everything. I hate what he has done to me but I'm madly in love with him." He has promised never to have another affair, but they sleep separately and he refuses to have sex. "I want love and cuddles and sex, like everybody else." She has joined Illicit Encounters but hasn't met anyone and has no self-confidence.